Google it. It’s the title of an old, obscure Demi Moore movie that came out in 2000. I had never heard of it either until 4a on Saturday when my aweful sleeping patterns kept me awake and I caught it on a movie channel. With a title like that, I didn’t think it was a porn. Porn would never use the word ‘mind’ in a title. When I saw Demi was in it I thought this must be one of her older, unknown movies when she still had a mustache. I got into this movie! I couldn’t believe what it was about! It blew my mind! It’s about this chick who doesn’t exactly have a split personality but she dreams constantly of an alternate, make believe life. I’ve been doing this for decades!! In the movie you see Demi’s character live 2 different lives. One she is a widow with 2 kids living as an artist of somesort in upstate New York. The other life is her as a single woman. Very ambitious and driven working in finance on Wall Street in New York City. You don’t know what life is real and what one is dreamed until the very end. Who doesn’t go into make-believe world?! I have since I was a kid. I used to pretend my parents were Sonny and Cher. I even called them that. They would answer to those names too! I have good parents, they always encouraged me. My Dad would say he was never a mustache man. Except for that one time he had to grow one because he lost a bet on the Superbowl. It never looked like Sonny’s. The year my parents dressed as Sonny and Cher for Halloween was when I stopped calling them that. Sometimes things are just better when they are make-believe. Jump ahead to my New Orleans era. Yall know about my make-pretend deal with Sidney (Torres) See, yall even play along! The Sid thing isn’t even a crush or anything. I mean, he’s hot and all but I’m taller than he is and I’m pretty sure I can take him. I basically just make all that s@hit up. (And he is a super super great sport about it) Before my boyfriend Todd passed away on July 3rd and my great sadness started, and the times he and I separated for whatever reason, I would go into full make believe Sidney mode. All my friends would play along. I would say things like- “me and Todd broke up so looks like Sidney is flying us all to NYC to go shopping”. Todd even played along. (god I love and miss him tons) We would get back together (everytime) and Todd would say-“this Sidney buisness is over”. My friends would still carry on with it though and say-“you and Todd are back together, does this mean Sid isn’t taking us out on the Yatch?”. And now during the great sadness (will it ever effin end?) I have taken 3 men I have mad crushes on and combined them into 1. A composite if you will. His name is David Ray George. Yup, he’s my new pretend boyfriend. George for Clooney, da! I really believe he is my future ex husband. David and Ray I think know that I exist but I’m pretty sure they don’t even notice me. All 3 are tall dark and handsome. And now they are one person. My friends ask- “What are you and David Ray George doing this weekend?” “Has David Ray George met the dogs?” “When are you and David Ray George going to Vegas?” All my invations from freinds are to Kat and David Ray George. Welcome to my crazy. I don’t think I need meds for this affliction. I think this is a healthy way to heal. (my shrink would prob disagree) Sometimes reality does bite. This is better. All my friends play along. Oh the support I get! I got good freinds! Back to the Demi movie- What you think is real isn’t. Turns out her real life was the one where she is the single, driven career woman! Who would dream about being a widow with 2 kids???!! Who would dream that? Like I said, we all have our crazy. Thanx for putting up with mine. David Ray George just walked in. He wants to take me to Adler’s to pick out jewelery. Gotta go….
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Ever walk by a restaurant, and decide immediately that you’re not going to eat there? Dirty atmosphere? The special of the day is NUTRIA? Surly staff? Maybe THE NAME ALONE? Check these out, and decide if you’d dine at any of these places…
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Heaven got real crowded this summer. As fall approaches, hopefully there are no more vacancies. Here is the final list for the Summer of Death 2009-
—MICHAEL JACKSON—PATRICK SWAYZE—FARRAH FAWCETT
—ED MCMAHON—WALTER CRONKITE—TED KENNEDY
–Director JOHN HUGHES—DAVID CARRADINE—KARL MALDEN
–BILLY MAYS–Comedian FRED TRAVALENA–Former NFL quarterback STEVE MCNAIR–“Angela’s Ashes” author FRANK MCCOURT–Author and musician JIM CARROLL–ADAM “DJ AM” GOLDSTEIN–Wiener king OSCAR G. MAYER, JR.–LES PAUL–MARY TRAVERS, of PETER, PAUL & MARY
—“Laugh-In” actor HENRY GIBSON–And, of course, GIDGET, the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
–And my boyfriend. I miss you Todd.
Monday, September 21, 2009
I was Pee-Free at Lisa on Saturday night. Great crowd, good gays, good stuff! And Lisa is the sweetest gal in real life! If you missed her this time, she’ll be back! That’s me pee-free on stage intro-ing Lisa at the top. And me and bff Lisa backstage. Thanx for coming out workforce and supporting the funny!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
By now, you know that KISS is headlining the Voodoo Music Festival on Halloween Night (Oct. 31)…but do you know what the stylish band will be wearing when they hit the stage? The band has just released photos of the new KISS togs, and they look like this:
Nothing new, really…but, they seem to be excited by them, so we should, too.
After all, it is KISS, dammit! And there is none higher. Right?!?!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Some great new music in stores (and available for download, I’m sure) today:
One of my favorite bands (that you’ve probably never heard of), Porcupine Tree, has a new CD “The Incident”, in stores today. If you’re a fan of Pink Floyd, try these guys on for size…
Ace Frehley (former guitarist of KISS….duh, I know…but, some people aren’t into names, and may not know…) has a new one. His fourth solo album is called “Anomoly”.
Mark Knopfler – singer/guitarist of Dire Straits drops his sixth solo album, “Get Lucky”…
Living Colour (“cult of Personality”) is back with their first disc in five years “The Chair In The Doorway”.
Get the CD today…see them live at Tipitina’s on Thursday night (9/17).
Remember Bruce Hornsby? Hasn’t had a big hit in years, but always come through with a great, solid record every time. His new one with The Noisemakers is called “Levitate”.
“The Resistance” is the latest album from Muse. Not a classic rock artist, but they are AMAZING!
And last, but definitely not least, is “Endgame” from Megadeth. Dave Mustaine is p@##ed off again, and this album shows it. Get it. Turn it up LOUD! And enjoy…
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I have only peed my pants twice in my life. Except of course for my first 9 months on earth. Yup, I was walking and potty trained by 9 months. I spoke and said full sentences by 6 months. Always in a rush. Me. I was so abnormal that back then when starting first grade, they didn’t know what to do with me. So they put me in a ‘special’ class in first grade. Not special for smart kids, special for slow kids with learning disabilities. I lasted in that class for 2 weeks until an expert finally realized I didn’t belong there. My older brother to this day still makes a comment about those few weeks of my early child hood. Out of the blue he will say-“remember that time you were retarded?”. Back to peeing- I peed the very first time I ever bungeed jumped at the age of 19. I did it live on the radio and back then we had no ‘delay’ button. That is the magic button you hit and magically any and all swear words go away when doing anything live on the radio. My boss at the time told me to please please please do not say the eff word! Anything else he would let fly. But not the eff word. Being young and a smart ass I told him no prob, I got it, I’m a professional. I’m at the ledge, the mic is strapped to me and here I go bungee jumping for the first time on live radio. I lept off and sure enough, I peed my pants. And the first thing out of my mouth was- “I effin just peed my pants!” I figured I wouldn’t get in trouble as I used the eff word as an adjective not a verb. That didn’t defense didn’t fly. It was the 80’s so all was forgiven. If that happened today for sure I would have been fired. (sidebar-that is the one and last time I have ever cursed on air in over 20 yrs fyi) The second time I peed my pants as an adult was when I was at my friends lake house. I was passed out in the hammock in my bikini. Resting in the sun after a long day of swimming, tubing, tequila and sunshine. I was so relaxed from the lake air and sun and the sound of the water crashing against the dock that I slipped and let it flow right there in the hammock. I was so chill that I didn’t even get up right away! Finally I ran to the dock and jumped in the lake. I blamed the dog on peeing in the hammock. Told everyone it was Molly the dog not me! Everyone bought it. (see above about tequila) And now I fear I will pee my pants for the 3rd time in my adult life when I open for comedian Lisa Lampanelli this Sat. night Sept 19. I just don’t think I will be able to handle any boo-ing or heckling as I am not a comedian. I am just Kat. I am not going to prepare. I am just gonna wing it. As long as the audience is kind all will be good. I will not drink any liquids of any kind for a solid 48 hrs before. I have no pants that diapers would fit under. Immediatley after, tequila and yager will join me back stage. And then a nice long trip to the ladies room.
(photo used under creative commons lisence)
Monday, September 14, 2009
We all need one of those. A Go to Guy who is always there for you no matter what. Kinda like Rahm Emmanual is to Obama. He just kinda swoops in, tells it like it is, fixes things up quickly and then goes away until you need them again. I have a great Go to Guy. We don’t chat often and we don’t even hang out that much either. But we have always kept in touch and he has reached out to me during the Great Sadness. We got a chance to hang this weekend. He knew his job was to cheer me up. He doesn’t talk a lot of bs and he lays it all out there with no sunshine being pumped up anyone’s a*s. He’s good like that. No matter how sad and small I may be, he does not allow pity. And now is about the time where you may be thinking we are ‘friends with benefits’. Hell no! It’s not like that if you must ask. (as if I’m ready for any of that stuff….) True friends, and that’s it. I’m lucky it’s like that and I appreciate his friendship. He asked some tough questions of me. Making me really think about the last couple of months and how and why things happen. He had no answers but he did have the encouragement and kindness I need. My Go to Guy, he knows who he is, thanx! You gotta get one for yourself.
(photo of Rahm Emannual showing how long Obabama’s……..briefcase is used under creative commons liscens)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
This journey of grief sucks in every way it possbly can. Just when I think I’m ‘cured’ something hits me for no reason and I lose my sh*t. Will it ever be over? How can I have anymore tears left? I hate to dwell. And I apprecaite you letting me vent periodically since the great sadness started when my boyfriend passed away on July 3rd. I still look at his obituary on line. It has long since been ‘archived’. But I find it and I still read it. I have signed the guest book way to many times and I go to his grave too often as well. There I feel it is just he and I and no interuptions. Even though he isn’t really there. I hope anyways. A smart man once told me that death is easier for the dead than it is for the ones who grieve them. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep for 3 to 6 months. Maybe like that movie ‘Flatliners’ where they get real close to death and heaven and can chill in that state for awhile and come back. I want to do that. Just go up there and see him for a little while and come back. That’s not real though, is it? Grief makes your realm of reality a little off kilter. I miss him. And I miss and mourn a future I never had.
Thanks again workforce. Yall are my shrinks.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The greatest outlaw biker show EVER!!! Last year in its first season it got a slow start. Mostly because it was on Weds nights. Everyone knows that Weds nights is the universal bike night in the world! So all the people who would looove Sons, bikers, are on their bikes and couldn’t watch. This year season 2, new night is Tuesday nights. I think my bitchin helped that! A repeat episode on Sunday nights if you miss it’s regular Tuesday night. (FX Channel) WATCH THIS SHOW!!!! It is not for the faint of heart or anyone who may be offended by certain ‘colorful’ language. Even if you don’t ride, this show has it all- sex, drugs, comedy, tragedy, drama. With an incredible cast that includes Peg Bundy (actress Katy Sagal) playing the ultimate biker mama bear. And the Beast from Beauty and the Beast (actor Ron Perlman) and a relatively unknown British actor Charlie Hunnam. All worthy of praise in their performances. Episode 1 started out with a bang, literally! Mama biker gets attacked violently and grotesquely. Revenge is on the horizon for the Sons for sure in the next couple of episodes. So, Weds night being official bike night to get on your 2 wheels and ride, Tuesday night is now ‘bike night at home night’. Watch Sons!
(photo used under creative commons liscense)