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Friday, June 26, 2009

They’re Dropping Like Flies…

I was still realing from the news that David Carradine had accidentally offed himself while performing self-love, circus style, when I heard Ed McMahon had gone off to the great Tonight Show In The Sky.  I thought to myself, o.k., there’s two…who’s next?  Little did I know the object of my very own adolescent tug-and-pull marathons would be the answer to that question.  Farrah Fawcett!?!?!?!?!  Tell me it’s not true…tell me the slap to Perez Hilton’s head caused him to leak nefarious misinformation to the press!!!  Alas…it’s true…she of the heaping coif and little pokies in the red bathing suit was gone.  Men across America will be at half-mast for days, and probably wondering if it’s wrong to continue having “those thoughts” now that she’s gone.   Still wiping the tear from my eye, I turned to the television to hear the news about Michael Jackson.  Four????  Gadzooks!!  Could this be the sign of the coming Apocalypse?!?!?!  Nah. Probably not.

Ed McMahon?  Never really got it.  Johnny Carson was a genius, and I guess part of that genius was chosing the right sidekick, and Ed was that guy.  Personally, I always liked Hank Kingsley better, but, that’s just me.

Farrah Fawcett.  Never got the recognition she deserved because she was so damn hot no one noticed she was acting, too.   At least I think she had speaking roles.  Didn’t she?  No, but seriously, Charlie’s Angels aside, the woman had some serious acting chops, as we saw later in her career.  But, she will always be known for THAT poster.  Yes, THAT poster.  The one that sold something like 15 million copies.  That’s a lot of dirty tissues.

Michael Jackson.  O.K.  There will be vigils, along with much crying, and gnashing of teeth over the death of MJ.  Me?  I could care less.  He changed modern music?  Pop music, yeah, maybe.  But you know, the King of Pop’s crown lost a little luster in my eyes with those – not one, but two – court appearances for child molestation.  Sure, he coughed up a little (a lot of) money, settled out of court, and was never convicted.  But, neither was O.J., and I wouldn’t want him living next door to me, either.  In my humble opinion, one of the lowest forms of life is a scumbag that will take advantage of a child.  Talent doesn’t overshadow that.  I won’t judge him, but I won’t cannonize him, either.  He’s gone.  See ya, bye!

Of the four, strangely enough, I will miss David Carradine the most.  Yeah, he was a dick, and toward the end, his career had bottomed out at doing Yellow Pages ads, but he was Kwai Chang Caine!!!I can’t tell you how many days I spent watching Kung Fu and Bruce Lee marathons, swinging and kicking and breaking stuff all over the house, until Master Po (i.e., Dad) layed a little Tiger Claw on my a**.  Without David Carradine and Kung Fu, I never would have discovered martial arts – and with my smart mouth, would have had many more humiliating, well deserved a** beatings as a teenager.  Thanks, Dave.

On a more serious note.  Four more gone.  Four who touched millions of people’s lives in different ways.  May they rest in peace.

posted by Gonzo at 12:24 am  

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Playing Farrah and Cher

Farrah Fawcette the iconic star in the famous red bathing suit poster has passed away after a long battle with cancer. It was that poster that made her every boys dream in the late 70’s. Every boy I know had that poster on thier wall. And some are proud to still have it hanging up somewhere in thier house. Maybe now in thier man room. (my brother still has his) Growing up, one of my best friends and I used to play Farrah and Cher. She was blonde so of course she got to be Farrah. I was the dark lanky big haired girl so I was Cher. Farrah and Cher were best friends and did everything together. The blonde and the brunette. She had her Farrah barbie and I had my Cher doll. We also had each of their heads. The ones that you can style their hair and put make up on them. Although I was a huge fan of Farrah and Charlie’s Angels and Farrah’s first husband The 6 Million Dollar Man, I secretly wished I could be blonde and normal. So I put permanent blue marker on the Farrah head eye lids when my freind wasn’t looking. She got upset and cut off the all the hair on my Cher head. Farrah and Cher now looked like shells of thier former selves. My friend and I made up and later moved on to being Chrissy and Janet on Three’s Company.

Farrah Fawcette an icon of hottness for men everywhere in the world, you are loved and missed.

posted by Kat at 1:07 pm  

Monday, June 22, 2009

Go see the movie The Hangover

Especially if you or anyone you know is getting married soon. ‘The Hangover’ is just what you need to laugh it out in this depressing economy. It is up there with the funniest movies ever made. Without giving too much away because I really want you to see the movie, the chubby bearded dude steals every scene he is in. And if Bradley Cooper isn’t a household name, he will be now. It would be hard to narrow down the 6 Top Funniest movies of all time. But I’ll try. Kat’s 6-Picks- Top 6 Funniest movies of all time-

6. Wedding Crashers/Pine Appple Express/Knocked Up/Super Bad/Juno-TIED

5. Animal House/Caddy Shack- TIED

4. Spinal Tap

3. Pulp Fiction/The Big Lebowski-TIED

2. The Hangover

1. Monthy Python and the Holy Grail

Honorable mention- Annie Hall, Airplane

Do you agree with my 6-Picks? Let me know!

(photo used under creative commons lisence)

posted by Kat at 12:04 pm  

Friday, June 19, 2009

Happy Father’s Day Weekend!

It’s all in the name of the Father this weekend! And remember, any man can be a Father, but it takes a special person to be a Dad.  So pops of the Bayou Workforce, take control over that remote this weekend, wear just your undies all day, don’t shave, let the lawn grow for a few days, play with that indoor putting set, whip out the ‘worlds greatest dad’ coffee mug’, pretend you love the gift of soap on a rope, eat lots of meat, scratch yourself, nap in your chair til you drool, and take apart that old engine again. We love you Dad!

posted by Kat at 11:56 am  

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I too apologize to Sarah Palin

No, I didn’t make a creepy remark about her underage daughter. And I have always said I admire her…shoes! I do though, apologize to her for not really understanding what it is like to have an unwed pregnant teenage daughter. There are many woman who share that situation with Sarah Palin. Wouldn’t it be nice if Sarah reached out to them and shared thier concerns. And let them know they are not alone. Rather than judge Sarah and her family, why not get it out there, come clean, be honest. All Americans aren’t moose killin republicans. Some are also premature Grandmas just like Sarah. If anything, Letterman’s joke, and yes, it was a joke, maybe not a funny one but a joke none the less, has actually brought us together. Us gals. Me and Sarah. I respect that momma bear coming out in her when one of her children are hurt. So Sarah, I apologize for not getting to know you better. I would love to shoe shop with you. Using that fat credit card the republicans gave you of course! Perhaps this blog will travel all the way to Russia and then cross on over to your back yard so you’ll see it. (I can see the United Republic of Algiers from my back yard!) And you will find it in your heart to accept my apology. We don’t really have to go shoe shopping. I’d take some of your hand-me-downs. What size are you?

(photo used under creative commons lisence)

posted by Kat at 2:30 pm  

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I always thought Chastity Bono was hansome

I really did! I’m as man-lovin as they come and for some reason, I always thought Chastity Bono would make a hansome man. And now perhaps, she will be! She is in the process of getting a sex change. (chick to dude) Her famous mom Cher has made no comment. The gays loooove Cher! A gay bf of mine said- “See what Cher has done, it’s the ultimate thing she could do for the gay community, have a child who gets a sex change”.  Always the gays with the drama. Hopefully Cher will comment and embrace her transgender child. After all, Cher knows a lot about surgery.

posted by Kat at 3:10 pm  

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Live-Action Jetson’s Movie!

Director Robert Rodriguez of ‘Grindhouse’ and ‘Predator’ fame is in the preliminary phase of making a live-action Jetson’s movie. TV’s first family of the future coming to the big screen! Get ready for space walks, Spacely Sprockets and Cogswell Cogs, The Skypad Apartments, Orbit City and Aero Cars! For the studio and the director, I thought I may offer up who should be in the cast.

Rosie the Robot Maid- Rosie O’Donnell (da!) Even though she was already the cartoon charactor of Betty Rubbel in the Flinstone’s movie, no reason why she can’t do it again!

Elroy Jetson- That smart ass funny kid on ‘3 and a Half Men’. (or if Danny Bonaducci was still 11, he would have been good too)

Jayne Jetson- Allison Jannie. She was the tall chick on the West Wing and she played Juno’s Mom in the movie ‘Juno’. Funny and smarmy!

Judy Jetson-Gonzo and I am debating this one. I say someone like Heather Graham. Gonzo says she is too old to play Judy! Maybe so…..so we sorta settled on Amy Adams, she was most recently in the movie ‘Doubt’ and she was a princess or something in some popular Disney Film a while back. Or Isla Fisher. Isla is the baby mama of Sasha Cohen (Borat/Bruno) and she was the wild chick in ‘The Wedding Crashers’ that drove Vince Vaughn nuts.

Mr. Spacely- Danny Devito or Tony Gandolfini. This would be a great 1st movie role after ‘The Sopranos’ for James.

Astro the Dog- My boyfriends dog Zak. He is a Golden Retriever and the dumbest animal on the planet. That’s why we love him! Just like Astro.

George Jetson- None other than Mel Gibson! He’s got some funny goofy in him and he has had a pot belly in the past. He kinda looks like George already.

Do you agree with my casting? Let me know!

(photos used under creative commons lisence)

posted by Kat at 3:30 pm  

Monday, June 8, 2009

Kat’s 6 Picks

Recently the US District Court for Eastern CA tossed out a fraud lawsuit by a Janine S. who claimed she was dismayed to learn, after buying a box of Cap’N Crunch cereal, that Crunchberries are not actual berries. They are merely berry-flavored balls of sugar. Mostly pink in color. And sure to wack your kids out with a sugar high. In other words, Crunchberriers are AWESOME! Message to Janine S.- Crunchberries are not real and do not actually grow from the earth. Janine S. and her lawyers tried this bit with the makers of Fruit Loops at one time as well because Fruit Loops don’t contain actual fruit. That one was tossed out too. Her and her lawyers are clearly coo-coo for Coco Puffs. Now is a good time to give you the TOP 6 CEREALS OF ALL TIME-

6. Raisin Bran- somewhat healthy and no sugar needed

5. Coco Puffs- although they get a little soggy in milk they still rock

4. Coco Crispies- slightly more expensive than above but less soggy

3. Mini Wheats- another slightly healthy cereal and you can eat them right out of the box no milk needed

2. Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes- take no imitators! worth the $89 a box! And Tony the Tiger is the best! TIED with Fruity Pepples- nope, no real pebbles in them

1. Cap N Crunch – all flavors!

Did I miss any? Got an idea for a Kat’s 6 Pick? Let me know!

(photo used under creative commons license)

posted by Kat at 3:03 pm  

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I’m a huge wussy cry-baby

I have cried everyday since I was a very young child. It’s not because I am unhappy or depressed. I am happier than most people. Some people over eat or drink too much or do drugs. I cry. It all started when I was about 5 or 6 years old and me and my friend Maureen thought it would be funny to catch a bunch of frogs and put them in a bucket full of beer to see if they would get drunk. We got the beer from my Dad’s beer arsenal in the basement. (we had basements where I grew up) We let the frogs stew in it for a good hour. We then dumped them all out. They were still alive but definitely drunk. They hopped sideways and made frog burp sounds. They then tried to back track and get themselves back in the bucket. They clearly enjoyed the beer. My Mom found out. She was mad. I was hoping she would make me drink a bucket full of beer to see if I would get drunk but she didn’t. I think she was more mad about us stealing the beer than making the frogs drink it. Imagine my joy many years later when Budweiser came out with  those commercials featuring frogs! I have felt bad for those frogs ever since and I cried that day. All day. Poor frogs. I’m going to hell for sure. And now any trigger can make me cry. Watching Oprah, a sad song, watching the news I lose it, seeing 2 people in love, when my boss buys me lunch, reading greeting cards at Walgreens is an agonizing chore, seeing a homeless person, any movie not just a sad one although ‘The Notebook’ takes the grand prize, a child laughing or crying, weddings are a sobville for me, when someone compliments me, funerals-da! I can cry on Q way too easy. Think Holly Hunter in the movie ‘Broadcast News’, she cried over everything too! Basically, everyday I shed some tears. I have been told by experts that there is nothing wrong with this. Maybe I have over abundant tear ducts. I’m actually crying now. Big girls and boys DO cry.  And it’s ok. Isn’t it?

(photo above of Kat crying after the frog incident used under creative commons license)

posted by Kat at 11:26 am  

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