I was still realing from the news that David Carradine had accidentally offed himself while performing self-love, circus style, when I heard Ed McMahon had gone off to the great Tonight Show In The Sky. I thought to myself, o.k., there’s two…who’s next? Little did I know the object of my very own adolescent tug-and-pull marathons would be the answer to that question. Farrah Fawcett!?!?!?!?! Tell me it’s not true…tell me the slap to Perez Hilton’s head caused him to leak nefarious misinformation to the press!!! Alas…it’s true…she of the heaping coif and little pokies in the red bathing suit was gone. Men across America will be at half-mast for days, and probably wondering if it’s wrong to continue having “those thoughts” now that she’s gone. Still wiping the tear from my eye, I turned to the television to hear the news about Michael Jackson. Four???? Gadzooks!! Could this be the sign of the coming Apocalypse?!?!?! Nah. Probably not.
Ed McMahon? Never really got it. Johnny Carson was a genius, and I guess part of that genius was chosing the right sidekick, and Ed was that guy. Personally, I always liked Hank Kingsley better, but, that’s just me.
Farrah Fawcett. Never got the recognition she deserved because she was so damn hot no one noticed she was acting, too. At least I think she had speaking roles. Didn’t she? No, but seriously, Charlie’s Angels aside, the woman had some serious acting chops, as we saw later in her career. But, she will always be known for THAT poster. Yes, THAT poster. The one that sold something like 15 million copies. That’s a lot of dirty tissues.
Michael Jackson. O.K. There will be vigils, along with much crying, and gnashing of teeth over the death of MJ. Me? I could care less. He changed modern music? Pop music, yeah, maybe. But you know, the King of Pop’s crown lost a little luster in my eyes with those – not one, but two – court appearances for child molestation. Sure, he coughed up a little (a lot of) money, settled out of court, and was never convicted. But, neither was O.J., and I wouldn’t want him living next door to me, either. In my humble opinion, one of the lowest forms of life is a scumbag that will take advantage of a child. Talent doesn’t overshadow that. I won’t judge him, but I won’t cannonize him, either. He’s gone. See ya, bye!
Of the four, strangely enough, I will miss David Carradine the most. Yeah, he was a dick, and toward the end, his career had bottomed out at doing Yellow Pages ads, but he was Kwai Chang Caine!!!I can’t tell you how many days I spent watching Kung Fu and Bruce Lee marathons, swinging and kicking and breaking stuff all over the house, until Master Po (i.e., Dad) layed a little Tiger Claw on my a**. Without David Carradine and Kung Fu, I never would have discovered martial arts – and with my smart mouth, would have had many more humiliating, well deserved a** beatings as a teenager. Thanks, Dave.
On a more serious note. Four more gone. Four who touched millions of people’s lives in different ways. May they rest in peace.