Does Mother nature wake up every New Years Day and say- “Ok, these are the days it will rain this year in New Orleans and they are all days of Festivals”?? If it DIDN’T rain some on our festivals I think we would be out of sorts. Does Mother Nature make it rain on them because she knows New Orleanians can handle it? Does she know we cover our beverages before we cover ourselves in the rain? Is that why it never rains on rodeos in Kentucky or The Pie Festival in Iowa because she knows those people can’t handle it? Because everything in New Orleans is soggy to begin with so a little rain ain’t nuthin. Becasue we have so many festivals it’s gotta rain on some of them?! Rain or shine, a hat is good to wear at a festival to block the sun or the rain. Here’s to a dry fun, happy French Quarter Fest this weekend! And yes, it is your natural New Orleans reflex, not a medical problem, to automatically cover your drink before you cover yourself when caught in a down pour.
Spring makes us all wanna drive topless! Top down and heavy on the gas! And lots of us will be hitting the road with spring/summer vacations coming up. It was hard to narrow down 6 best streets/avenues/roads/Interstates to drive on in the New Orleans area. These picks of course do NOT mean you should speed on these streets! (you wouldn’t do that!) The criteria was hard. A sufficient speed limit you can enjoy. A pretty good pave job was considered. Safety of the area and street lights. Let me know if I left any out. Here they are- TOP 6 STREETS TO DRIVE ON-
6. Lapalco Blvd
5. Highway 90- Westwego
4. Causeway Bridge
3. Canal Blvd (not street!)
2. River Road
1. West Esplanade
Notice no I-10 and no uptown streets either. Sorry! We’ll do the Top Worst in the days to come! Drive safe!
And his wife deserves every penny! I wonder if Mel has a jewish lawayer? Mel, well known for his Catholic beliefs and oh yea being a movie star, has been married for 28 years and has 7 children with his wife. And no pre-nup Melly! He has been seen recently frolicking on the beach with a woman who is younger than one of his daughters. I don’t think that’s very Catholic is it? If Mel likes big families the Octo-Mom is available. Maybe after 28 years and 7 kids they could get an annulment and pretend this whole thing never happened.
The USA welcomes new First Dog ‘Bo’ to the White House. Short for ‘Bo-Diddley-Squat’. Named after the economy. In other news, Legendary music producer Phil Spector was found guilty. He could face 18 years behind bars. He was acquitted on the lesser charge of assault with a deadly Toupee. Both Phil and Bo have used the same groomer in the past.
Is that a good use of the city’s money? More speeding cameras? And how do these cameras work exactly? Is there a little man like the Wizard of Oz behind a curtain watching the cameras? What is the point of these? We don’t have enough cops on the streets so cameras are taking over? And how do we know ‘the camera’ bagged us? We get something in the mail? In a timely manner of course! And always to the correct address! (I’ve changed mine a million times with the proper peeps and still, nothing comes to correct address, but ya, I suppose that’s my fault) Or do they just automatically suspend your licsense and you are suppose to know this because you have a crystal ball up your ass? It seems to me better use of this money could have been made. Like maybe catching criminals. More cops on the streets. Maybe fixing the roads so we wouldn’t have to speed! Yes, I blame the bad roads for peoples lead foots! The new cameras are at-
Paris Ave near Prentiss Ave both directions
Toledano St near Galvez St (isn’t that kinda near the jail?)
Florida Blvd near Milne (the speed limit here should be 60mph!!!)
Good luck. Drive safely. And smile for the cameras!
What’s with the cheap hollow ones?? I know the economy is bad but c’mon! Shell out the few extra bucks for the kid and get the solid bunny! Happy Easter Weekend Workforce!
Not my own. Other people. Particularly men in speedos. WHY??!!! Although my co-hort Gonzo is the expert on bikinis, I feel I know a thong (get it-thong? I’m hilarious) or 2 as I have just spent 4 sunny days on the beach far far away with my sister and Tiger and Cathie (my parents, remember he’s Tiger and she’s big Cat and I’m lil Kat) Here is what I know- No male, EVER , should wear a speedo to the beach! Not even Michael Phelps wears one to the beach! Leave the speedos for swim meets and the olympics. NOT THE BEACH! And yes, even you Canadians. They wear speedos for some reason. I know this from growing up on the beaches of Maine and there they were, those Canadians ruining the beach in thier speedos. Boing boing is all I could think whenever one of them would walk by me. I don’t think any member of the band Rush would wear a speedo, or Neil young, or Bryan Adams, well maybe Bryan Adams, or any other musician from Canada would wear a speedo. I’m not completely sure about this. I will make a note to ask them all the next time I run into any of them. Neil young will be at Jazzfest. I’ll be sure to have him confirm this. Woman, on the other hand have a whole other set of probs on the beach when it comes to swim wear. Believe it or not, some chicks actually look BETTER in a bikini than they do in a 1 peice. I am one of them. Not because my bod is bangin, I try hard though, but because a 1 peice pulls up on my long dorky upper body and I get the thong effect in the front. Ya, not a nice visual. So I go bikini. Solid color, no crazy print or stripes or some stupid pattern. Solid is best ladies! Stay away from any kind of flower print. Unless you are my Mom. And she’s gonna be 70 this year. And she actually is pretty bangin for an old gal. So is my older sister. She sports the 1 piece though. And she will tell you a hundred times that she has had 3 kids and she still looks ‘like this’. This meaning the bee-otch is bangin and she is 4 yrs older than me. Her boys are all less than a yr apart. It was like she was pregnant for 3 straight years. She’ll explain that to you as well. And she will tell you “when you have 3 kids you’ll see….” See what??! She will also be glad to show you her incision thingie from poppin the kids out. That’s why she goes 1 peice. She has a scar on her belly the size of half a tooth pick. Both my Mom and Sister make good swim wear choices. And they both are bangin in thier own right. I sometimes think I got stuck with the ‘bad’ genes. Anyway, ladies, we have it rough enough I realize. Buying swim wear and jeans is difficult for most women. Make sure to acentuate the positive. Or something like that. Or at least get swim wear that fits you. Start there. And when on the beach with family members have a cooler full of champagne, OJ, Gin and cold Millers. To block out all the “…….when you’re my age…” or “…when you have a husband and kids…” or “…..you’ll see when you’re married….” Which inevitably turns into “……why aren’t you married?” A buzz in the sun are best in situations like this. And secretly saying back to them-I see that I’m not crazy.
O.K. This is great news!! One of the Triumvirat of Superhot Chicks (Megan Fox, Scarlett Johannson, and Jessica Biel) will be taking it off in her next movie! The movie is Powder Blue, and Jessica Biel plays a stripper! And from the trailer…Jessica is no stranger to the pole! Oh yeah, you’re welcome…
Sure…it’s Festival Season…but I’ll let Kat cover that. More importantly, it’s BIKINI SEASON!!!
And what better way to kick off bikini season than a HOOTERS BIKINI CONTEST! Kenny (the Bayou porducer for the Walton & Johnson Show) and myself will be on hand Friday (April 3rd) for the West Bank HOOTERS Block Party and Bikini Contest. Over 30…yes 30…Hooters girls competing. We kick off the Block Party at 6pm…See ya there!
It’s that time of year!! Spring/Summer Festival Season in New Orleans and all of the state! With tourism back on the rise and gas prices lower (c’mon, in this economy that’s all I got) Fest season is sure to be huge! When festing, always stay with the group and drink lots of water while enjoying your fave fest food! (We’ll cover all the ‘rules’ as JazzFest gets closer) Stretch out those belly muscles, get yer comfy shoes on, sunscreen, water, cold Millers, and a good attitude and you’re ready to go! (mean people can stay home) Here are the -Top 6 Spring/Summer Festivals-
6. Ponchatoula Strawberry Festival (goes good with vodka)
5. Tales of the Cocktail (is this an actual festival?? sure it is!)
4. Mandeville Seafood Fest/Slidell Heritage Fest (tied-get yer N.Shore on!)
3. GreekFest (I’m Greek so da!)
2. French Quarter Fest (support local food and music! and it’s FREE)
1. JazzFest (no surprise there)
Did I miss any? Let me know! And let me if you have an idea for a 6-Pick!
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