Bayou Blogs

Am I the only person who HATES to shop at Walmart???! WTF? Please do not be offended if you work there or looove to shop there. It’s not personal ok? And yes, you can save money shopping there. (non-paid plug) But the stress and anguish to do so is kilin’ me! I hem and haw about having to go there. I tell my friends if I never return please tell my parents I love them. I actually do mental exercises before I walk in. I repeat things all the way there like- “you can do this, you can do this”. And-”Walmart is good, Walmart is good”. And before I walk in I image a pretty Walmart. One that smells nice and has ALL cash registers open. And one where the blue employee vest actually fit the person who’s wearing it. A Walmart with dimmed lights. With candles lit. Ahhhh…the Walmart of the future. Walmart is doing well even in this economy. Shopping at Walmart. It’s a necassary evil. Like government and condoms.

Am I to understand peeps are actually upset that President Obama HAD A BEER at a basketball game in public…???!!!! Geeesh!! If you were The President wouldn’t you enjoy a smile and a cold beer?? He deserves it forcheeseandcrackers! Every President does! To those who are upset about he having a beer in public, I say to you- I’m surprised he only had ONE!

Why doesn’t insurance cover a broken heart? (The love kind not the heart attack kind) They should have a ‘Broken Heart Clinic’ at your HMO. You go there, check in, pay your broken heart co-payment and see an expert in broken hearts. In the waiting room they should constantly be showing the moveis- “PS I Love You”, “The Notebook” and “Say Anything”. Broken Heart Insurance should cover at least 6 of these visits and pay for all the booze, chocolate and icecream you may need for 6 months. And a makeover. All the nurses should be hot dudes who flirt with the female patients. And hot nurse chicks that flirt with the male patients. (1 clinic for dudes, 1 for chicks and gay men) I wonder if this idea was proposed in Hilary Clinton’s Health Coverage plan a few years back. Perhaps Obama will add this to his plan.  Maybe I’ll go lobby for it in DC. “The Hundred Thousand Broken Heart March”. We could all go to the mall there in DC and just start crying. How annoying. That should make the government do something about broken hearts being covered by insurance. Maybe someday. Until then, for those who suffer from a broken heart, just gotta suck it up. And by sucking up I mean meds and alcohol.