So now that summer is pretty much here let’s go over the things that suck about summer. Sure the kids are out of school and watermelons are at the store, but it’s not all wine and roses, for example:

1. New Orleans is really hot in summer. With the humidity showers are, like, useless. You feel the sweat the second you step into the sun.

2. Grass grows fast in summer. If you’re the one responsible for your lawn and you don’t feel like payin’ somebody to do it, you feel my pain.

3. When you open the car door, you can literally see the heat burst out, then you touch the seat belt and get a third degree burn on your hand.

4. 6 months til egg nog!

5. All there is at the movie theater is super hero movies, sequels, and sequels to super hero movies. Which is fine and all, but give me a little variety!

6.  Swimming. It’s fine while you’re in the water, but then you get out and you’re, like, wet. I dont know about you, but I never remember to bring a change of clothes when I’m out swimming with friends so I just stay in my wet shorts hanging out until eventually I end up at Denny’s at 2 in the morning feeling like I pissed my pants 6 hours ago but REALLY wanting a Moon Over My Hammy! But maybe that’s just me…

7. The beach. It’s fine while you’re out there, but then when you leave you fill your car with sand. And that stuff doesn’t come out without a fight.

8.  Skimpy clothes on sexy ladies is ok, but we all know it’s not just the hotties that wear the short shorts…

9. Nobody wears shoes anymore, it’s all sandals and flip flops, and LOTS of people have ugly feet…

10. Maybe my foul summer mood is because I turn 30 this summer. It never seemed that old to me when I was a kid, but just the thought that in 10 years I’ll be 40 makes me want to toast myself on the lawn.