Have you ever had a moment where you felt absolutely insane? I had one of those today.

When I was a little girl I hated when people killed little harmless insects. Crickets, ants, and fireflies were in that category. I also hated when worms would die on the pavement in the sun. If they were still alive I would pick them up and put them in the shade in the dirt hoping they would make it.

Well, I still lament over those worms. This morning I was struck with a moral dilemma. I was late for work but a little worm was squirming on the hot pavement. Do I jump in the car and get to work semi-on time, or do I save the worm and be late for work?

I jumped in the car and came to work. I was so upset the whole ride. Why? It’s just a worm. What’s wrong with me?

Btw…I haven’t completely lost it.  I still know roaches are Satan’s minions.

T-

Chester Cheetah and the Starbuck’s people are in mourning.

 Here’s Britney’s new OK Magazine cover. She looks fab! Now I’m gonna go suck down whatever’s in our vending machine. What? Someone’s gotta make up for her.  -Annette

Hey, did anybody watch the season premiere of “The Hills” last night? It’s hard to believe we’re already on Season 4! The first 3 seasons flew by so fast! I wish I could say the same about each individual episode, which for me is as hard to watch as my grandmother giving a lapdance.

I know, I know, then why do you watch it Stevie? First, my wife watches it, and if I want her to watch cage fighting matches with me, then I have to watch that with her. Plus, since many of our listeners watch the show I feel a certain responsibility to at least keep up.

So back to the Season 4 premiere. Here’s the recap: Spencer doesn’t want Heidi’s sister to move in with them and Lo skips Audrina’s party so they decide they can’t be friends. Poor Lauren.

What’s that? You want the full recap and not the abridged version? Uhhhhh, that WAS the full recap. That’s ALL that happened! In 36 minutes! (minus the 8 minute commercial break) The abridged version goes something like this: Spencer’s a dick and Lo is LC’s only best friend.

Let’s leave out the fact that 99% of the world would give a lung and a kidney to have those be their only problems. Let’s also leave out the fact that no one in their right mind could ever possibly like any of these people. Let’s just focus on the fact that all they ever do on this show is TALK!!!!

They never do anything! They just talk! Even when they do do something they’re talking about something else they did. Then after that they go home and talk about what they just did! Seriously, the show isn’t the show. The show is actually the recap of everything that happened that you didn’t see. They COULD stop wasting our time and just show us the action along with some thought bubbles so we know what these zombie faces are feeling and we’d be done with it in 5 minutes! But then where would they put that long ass commercial break?

This is what Lauren wears to walk the dog?

This is what Paris wears for a little bike ride?

I’m in Roxy flip-flops right this minute and I’m at work.  -Annette

Good for them! The only thing I don’t like is I wish I looked as pretty as Portia in my wedding dress. Heck, I wish I looked as good as Ellen… Here’s their leaked wedding pic

Congrats to the newlyweds!  -Annette

Have you ever been cheered up during a really bad day by seeing someone else having an even worse day? A light bulb goes off in your head and you think: “At least I’m not that guy.” You know you have. Jerk.

Yay! Romantic dinner with a new hot guy! Suck on that, John Mayer! Okay…I don’t know anything about the guy yet, but we’re on it!  Our own Perez Hilton broke the story today, so we’ll keep ya posted when we know more. (Team Jen - not John…are we doing teams for this one?)  -Annette

After word broke that Jennifer and John Mayer had broken up (which I still choose not to believe because I just want her to be happy)… reports followed right away that Jen was already dating some new guy. The guy is a male model named Matt Felker, but get this - HE SPREAD THOSE RUMORS HIMSELF and IS LYING! Allegedly. Some peeps are saying this guy does stuff like this just to get attention for himself and that Jennifer Aniston doesn’t even know who he is. And I guess it’s working…because here’s his picture. 

Jen could do worse I guess.   -Annette

I know I should just be happy the kids aren’t dirty or being removed by CPS, but these suits are killing me.

I am first in line to get this magazine. And by first in line, I mean whenever I happen to see it in a store. I’m not really going out of my way to get it, but I’m so happy Britney and the little Federlines are doing well!!!!   -Annette

Yes, I mean the big gay-guy kind. I would think his face was photoshopped on to this random body if I didn’t know better.

Here’s Jake and Reece on the set of his new movie. “Crazy Workout Guy” is the name of it maybe? No, it’s actually called “Prince of Persia” or something.
Hope he doesn’t accidentally squish Reece in a bear-hug.   -Annette