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There isn’t anyone working in Hollywood that has more experience at destroying the world than Director, Roland Emmerich.  In fact, I can’t think of anyone who does it better either.  The man seems to have a sick fascination with it.  He’s done “Independence Day,” “The Day After Tomorrow” and “Godzilla.”  His latest apocalyptic orgy is “2012” which is the movie adaptation of the crazy Mayan Calendar theory that the world will end on 12/21/12 because…um…well, we don’t really know.  The movie attempts to explain why the world would end on that day with talk of solar flares from the sun, magnetic reversal of the poles and the shifting of the Earth’s crust but none of that really makes any sense and let’s face it…it doesn’t have too.  It stars John Cusack (who’s slumming it in this movie only because he needs the money, I’m guessing), Woody Harrelson, Oliver Platt (“Year One”) and Chiwetel Ejiofor (who was awesome in “American Gangster” and “Children of Men”).  Danny Glover also shows up as The President, but if Obama looks that old and weathered before his next term, I feel bad for him.  Let’s get right down to it, this movie is awful.  It might be the most expensive B-Movie ever made.  Usually these FX-laden eye parties are reserved for the mindless quagmire of the Summer, but the fact that the studio released it during Oscar season just makes it more laughable.  In fact laughing is what I did for most of the movie and I wasn’t alone.  Sections of the theater were laughing at the screen during sequences that were clearly meant to be thrilling or sad.  I think the reason why is because the movie lives in such a stereotypical “disaster movie” world that even your most casual of theater-goers will recognize the cliches.  The unlikely hero who’s still in love with an ex-wife he must save.  The characters with the ability to outrun earthquakes, out drive volcanic, nuclear clouds and out fly a crumbling city even in the face of no flying experience.  The plucky characters that are there for comic relief.  The cute kids that either have to overcome a physical malady or learn to respect their father again (in this movie it’s both).  And who could forget the illogical explanations of scientific “facts” that are there just to move the plot forward.  It’s all there wrapped up in a slick, expensive, CG wonderland of death and destruction that sits at a running time of over 2 and a half hours long.  Worth the price of admission?  Only if you’re drunk with some friends and want to have a blast making fun of a bad movie; and let’s face it, that could be some of the most fun you’ll ever have at the movies.
2012 (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: D+

1 comment so far ↓

#1 Sean on 11.13.09 at 5:48 pm

I think making fun of the movie Deep Rising with you, Jason, Craig, and Joey was the best/worst movie experience ever. That movie was so bad but playing MST 3K made it amazing!